Functionally Speaking… (Dating in a digital world)

We all live in a technologically savvy world… as a result; we tend to disconnect from each other while making new connections everyday.  What ever happened to just plain old simple face to face communication…?  I have always been a person that enjoys technological advancements but have always prided myself on my ability to communicate the old fashioned way… this mixed approach has resulted in my realization of some harsh realities… Take dating and beginning new relationships for example; In today’s world it is more prevalent to find a woman online than at your local eatery… some might note the convenience factor as a positive but I have to admit that one gets a bit discouraged at what is potentially out there once you actually take a look.

Dating sites have come a long way over the years and many strong, serious, and loving relationships have blossomed via the internet.  However; I, for one, would rather not put up with sifting through all the fake profiles, undercover transsexuals, and aspiring cam models.  Whats with the people that randomly pop up in your friend list…?  I don’t know about you but I put my information online in an effort to communicate and spend time with genuine people.  “NO… I don’t want to visit you on some weird webcam site… nor do I want to put in my CC info!”   Honestly, who in their right mind is weak minded enough to be susceptible to such deception…?   It has been a while since I seriously dated and debated back and forth about creating a profile on a dating site… The truth of the matter is that I honestly believe it has passed me by… I really don’t know if I want to meet someone online as it is proving to be nothing more than a gauntlet of immaturity and hopelessness.  

Don’t get me wrong… I am, in no way, lacking in self esteem nor am I lacking in my ability to communicate… Through my experiences with online dating; I have learned that I more than prefer the old fashioned way of meeting people and that is by casual conversation… who know’s; maybe I am going about the whole online dating thing all wrong and that is why I haven’t found what I was looking for.  In any case, I can tell you that I am sick of creating a profile only to be contacted by individuals with ulterior motives… If I send you a message its because I genuinely am interested and would love a conversation… If you don’t want one with me then I definitely understand… I have respect for everything and everybody but have no patience for those who refuse to be honest and talk to you like you haven’t got a brain in your head just to get you to pay for access to their webcam…!  Just one question…. Why?  Why, after reading my profile, would you think that I am okay with paying to see you on a webcam… I’m not some punk kid looking to get his rocks off… I am a well rounded, loving, good looking real man who understands, cherishes and genuinely loves the company of a good woman… I only want to communicate and interact as such… nothing more nothing less!

If there are any others out there that have similar or conflicting views then, by all means, comment and share your stories… I am expressly interested  in what you have to say… 

 

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Fuctionally Speaking… (Ringing in the New Year)

 

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As the final hours off 2013 count down it leaves me with the lingering notion of what New Year’s resolutions are all about… On one hand it promotes a change… whether positively or negatively impacting… change is something that we could all benefit from.  We have all been there… running back through the past years in a flash… looking to make a resolution that we feel will benefit us in the year to come but what we rarely stop to think about is how each resolution relates to one another.  

The typical resolution consists of things like quitting smoking or drinking…. with exercising and loosing weight coming in at a close second and don’t get me wrong; stopping health hazardous habits and starting health conscious ones are always a great idea… trouble is; we rarely keep up that initial energy toward sustaining these types of resolutions.  After a few days… maybe a couple months and in some cases, a few months go by; we are right back into the thick of our old habits but why? Why does the initial burst of energy wane after the new year comes and goes…? 

In my experience it is the, often overlooked, details of any situation that dictate its direction… to elaborate further; I would have to say that the feeling we get at the very notion of a new year is one that is earmarked with hope, excitement and anticipation… all three are welcoming and tend to project positive energy which in turn give one the confidence needed to make necessary changes… However; once that magical day comes and goes one is always left with every other aspect of life that is not in our control.  Unfortunately for us it is the aspects of life that are out of our control that usually have the most impact on decision making.  Little things like your boss at work who has no leadership acumen and talks down to his/her staff but always seems to be the golden child come promotion time… things like bad traffic and high car insurance… things like that unwavering 10-15 extra pounds that no matter what you do you just can’t seem to loose.

You see, life is in the details… as the details dictate life!  New Year’s Eve is but a snap shot into a person’s life… it just so happens that we pack all that has weighed us down into that small window without a true understanding of what amount of energy and effort it will take to be free of that weight.  What we as human beings often fail to realize is that we don’t have to reserve that energy and effort for just one day… Imagine what type of impact that type of effort would have on your life if you put in that effort on a daily basis…? Imagine how easy that that stubborn extra 10-15 lbs would be to loose if you woke up everyday with the same motivation you do on the first of January…? Imagine how quickly you could land the position at work that you truly want and deserve if you came to work everyday with the same motivation you have on the first of January…? Im willing to bet that same mediocre boss wouldn’t even equate into your immediate existence as he/she wouldn’t be in your life at all…

The point I am trying to make is that the magic of New Year’s Eve and the idea of a resolution is pigeonholed by limiting its abundant energy to just one day!  By sustaining that energy; even when the odds are against you, I’m willing to bet that life, in general, will be filled with more passion and genuine love!  This year I am not going to make a single resolution… instead I will attempt to wake up everyday renewed in my desires to accomplish my goals and realize my dreams in an effort to carry the magic of New Year’s throughout the entire year!  I challenge us all to do the same!  I definitely believe that it is easier said than done but just having the right ideology in regards to your efforts will further you along in the ever constant quest to align mind, body, and soul… which we can all agree is the best version of ourselves!  This year my resolution is to live in a permanent state of resolution in regards to taking the necessary steps at ending my weaknesses and living my strengths to an infinite proportion…  

Happy New Year to us all…

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FUNCTIONALLY SPEAKING… (STARTING OVER)

Three bedroom, two bath home with double garage complete with dirt bikes, and vintage hot rod… two beautiful children who actually listen and genuinely love school… sounds like a beautiful life right…?  Well you have to ask yourself; what’s missing…? The answer would be a beautiful wife to share it with… It wasn’t always missing but along the way I realized that the woman I married was not the woman I was married to.  I, like any person confronted with the potential for disaster, attempted to make adjustments in an effort to keep a beautiful life together… after all; isn’t that what we are taught to do…?

In the beginning, I was swept up in the blinding lights of love… so much so that I ignored any potential lapses in communication… instead I favored the old rule of thumb that one should first be willing to give and sacrifice in order to be worth receiving or sacrificing for… In my mind this was the best approach as this person was my end all be all and if you can’t sacrifice for the one’s you love… who can you sacrifice for…?  I mean… who can argue with a love filled with passion… not me!  It wasn’t until our relationship took the shape of our surroundings and began to become stagnant without the necessary communication to keep it growing; that I started to really understand the amount of power effective communication has over a relationship and how that communication can make or break a connection.  On paper we looked the part and played it well but our lack of communication would ultimately lead to a down fall of epic proportion.

Like all relationships that have newly blossomed into marriages; our living situation was, at the time, what I thought was the best compromise given both our future professional goals.  As time went on it became clear to me that an alternative agenda was at play… any time I tried to communicate my concerns was met with varying degrees of hostility which only widened our gap in communication.  Ours was a life that became shallow and, in most cases, vague at best.  I found myself asking questions that I would have never believed needed to be asked… questions like; what do you do when the one person you depend upon above all else blatantly shows you that you are no where near the same level of importance and value to them…?  I began to see life with a certain sense of clarity that only hastened my growth which, in turn, hastened our growing apart… I told myself that “this is the woman you love and chose… there should be no reason why you can’t make it work…?”  I firmly believed it then and still, to an extent, believe it now.  The only difference is that now I know that both parties have to want the same thing and there is no amount of compromise that will ever be sufficient to bridge the gap.  

The more I tried to communicate the further we grew apart and when I would try to bring up this fact… it became crystal clear that I was in this situation alone.  In an effort to hold on to what I had worked so hard to get; I began to think of things from a perspective that was terrifying yet exhilarating.  On one hand I could feel my life as I knew it slipping away from me while on the other hand I had spent years largely unappreciated and out right taken for granted… everything was fine as long as things went her way.  The situation didn’t come to a head until life threw a curve ball in my direction.  

For the first time in our marriage; there was a situation that forced her to have to see life outside of her box… I remember thinking to myself that “now we will see if she truly cares about me enough to make some sacrifices of her own on my behalf…”  Well I am here to tell you that nothing hurts worse than finding out that the years of effort and energy mean absolutely nothing to the one person in the world that it should mean everything to.  As our distant communication progressively grew to nothing more than arguing I had no choice but to come to the realization that this beautiful life I had cultivated was built on false pretenses.  After a few more attempts to communicate I ultimately decided to do bad all by myself and subsequently divorced that beautiful woman.  

Still reeling from the sting of dishonesty and manipulation; I continued on only to have my new found single life be cut short as I was laid off from work within weeks of being single.  Now, with two kids and the always up hill battle of finding a new job, I set out to do what millions of us do everyday… start over; but before I could even get into a rhythm… bad luck struck once again as I was on my way to work on the night shift at my new job that, now is a full hour away from home, I got a flat tire at the most in opportune time resulting in a total loss of my vehicle.  As time passed, so did my lust for life and the eternal energy source that is the soul began to weaken to the point that I began to retreat from all people and all things…  It wasn’t until I humbled myself that I realized I am not going through something that hasn’t been gone through before.  After all… I wouldn’t completely be able to start over if I couldn’t let go of the past.  

So, at the age of 31, I stand before you a man of holistic faith and scholarly value ready to except all blessings that lay before me in an effort to further my own personal understanding, growth, and value.  New job… new city… new life… new me!  As challenging as it has been… I am extremely excited about what lies ahead and will always strive to communicate in a manner that alleviates me from making the same mistakes… 

The question still remains… what about someone to share this new life with…?  In an attempt to answer that question; all I can say is that I have a sense of who I am and put forth effort at being the man I want to be… I am honest, loving, and beautiful… I wouldn’t share this life with anyone who can’t see those things in me and want me for me… If there is a woman out there looking for a man that knows what he wants and truly enjoy’s treating a woman special then I look forward to meeting you…!

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Functionally Speaking…(The numbers behind Marketing)

We all live in a world where numbers matter… being a self proclaimed “Math Geek” and enjoying a genuine love for numbers I would have to agree that numbers do matter.  However; when it comes to marketing I am not so sure that it is the actual marketing that matters or the number of people you get to market your service and/or product.  For instance, we have all seen the “how to make money on the internet” or the “how to make money from home” claims that currently flood cyberspace with their claims of getting rich!  If not, then maybe you have been a victim of the promising job opportunity and its carefully worded description that gets you way excited and all dressed up; headed down to the interview only to get there and realize that it is just another motivational speaking seminar aimed at getting you to work for someone else on the notion that you can eventually make money!

The trouble with those schemes is that they work on a pyramid basis… the lower you are on the pyramid – the lower your income and the more work you must put in…now I am no stranger to hard work and definitely don’t mind working hard… I just can’t fathom walking up and down the street trying to sell something that someone else gets paid off of… leaving me to fend for myself all with the notion that if I work hard enough and push hard enough that I can con others into doing the same so that their contributions will benefit me and so on and so forth… Have you ever actually taken a look at the individual’s lives that run those presentations and push people into the pyramid…?

After the economy tanked and the military started downsizing; there became a huge influx of experience laborers that began to fill the job seeker demographic… people with experience and skills but too broad or too niche market to fill the needs of employers… These individuals became overqualified for most available jobs and under qualified for career oriented positions… as the economy further contracted and more jobs shipped overseas; these individuals had to result to dead end jobs paying a wage that would only result in a life lived below or, at best, equal to the current poverty level!  As a result people took to alternative means… illegal activity began to rise at an alarming rate.  Yet we are still all bombarded by eye catching advertisements of “regular people getting rich in their spare time”.

First let me say that I am sure there is some truth to these claims… I just wish that they would be a bit more forthcoming with the true nature of their approach to such claims of wealth.  We definitely do live in a world utterly dependent upon numbers… those same numbers can make or break you depending on what side of them you land… In the world of marketing it is all about numbers… how many people can you get to look, see, understand, and ultimately get to buy is the name of the game… The trouble is I have yet to find out what the hell they are actually selling!!!  Most of the so called get rich from home opportunities rely upon getting others to view your services and/or products… by establishing a network of interested parties and constantly contacting as well as growing that network; one can most definitely get rich.  What they often neglect to tell you is that you don’t actually get rich by selling a product… the way you get rich is by selling the idea of getting rich!

Lets face it, if you aren’t in a position to benefit from a sale of a profit or service then how in the world can you make money?  Well the trick to this is that you get people to buy into the idea of making money… by selling them on the idea you create a network of like minded individuals all wanting to know the same secrets to getting rich and with that network you prey on their consumer attributes and allow them to purchase products that are related to your idea… major advertisers and product providers utilize this momentum of attention to sell their products… the only money to be made is in the money they pay you for your advertising!  Most of the get rich quick schemes end up being just shortcut route to setting up a site or blog or social media account geared toward generating enough ad traffic that will entice the major players to buy into your space resulting in a type of commission.

They know that if there is enough content on your site to keep viewer’s attention just long enough for them to make their sale then it is well worth the investment on their part… I don’t knock anyone for making money… in fact, I recommend you make it by any means necessary… as long as you can take care of your family then I’m all for it!  However; what they always seem to tell you conveniently after you have bought into the scheme is that not all results are as advertised which is true and should be taken not of… however; it should also be taken note that they are selling nothing more than information that is free… it is packaged neatly and makes for easier understanding but it is available free of charge if you have the will to seek it out!

Fortunately for these entities; most people don’t even take advantage of their services after they have purchased them due to the fact that most realize that what they bought into was available all along – free of charge!!  This tends to rub the consumer the wrong way… leaving them with a bitter taste in their mouths… resulting in their ultimate disregard for the entire process…. never the less, they now have your money and don’t need you anymore!  What one must understand is that the whole point is to get people to buy into something… it doesn’t matter what it is; just as long as they buy into it!  Marketing is definitely a numbers game… sometimes those numbers are backed by legitimate products and service but all to often, they are backed by the fluff of like minded ideology!  This unfortunate fact makes it just about impossible to actually discern between the legitimate opportunities and the fluff.

We live in a society that thrives on the contributions of others… leaving our innate ability to live, learn, grow and flourish to slowly perish in a sea of instant gratification and utter lack of respect for hard work!  Ask yourself why can I get rich just by directing the flow of attention in a specific direction?  Is it really that easy to cash in on the ultimate ruins of society?  The answers would be that because we live in a world where technology reigns but education suffers… resulting in a gap between genuine understanding and actual intellectual ability or capacity… This gap has made it possible for those to conveniently package, otherwise, free information and sell it for profit!  The more people buy into it the more money they make!

Pyramid schemes have been getting people rich since the beginning of time… it won’t ever change but what I want everyone to understand is that nothing creates value like genuine knowledge, skills, and abilities to create products and services that people can find true value within!  Positioning yourself with actual value is the only full proof way to make any money… whether it be goods or services; the more value you present within yourself… the more value others will see and invest within you!  Going door to door selling products that don’t benefit anyone but merely satisfy immediate immature desires only feeds the beast… If you desire to be free of the system and be your own boss.. try putting food on your own table instead of feeding the beast!!

Remember; get rich quick schemes exist because people want them to exist… Selling the idea is simply an easier way to profit than putting in the hard work it takes to develop an idea into a finished product or service… what they don’t tell you is that those who sell ideas make money but prey upon the naive notions of the consumer while those who put in work to develop an idea into a polished product are the one’s who actually get rich… think about it!

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Functionally Speaking…(Is Romance dead in the 21st century)

 

 

After a conversation I had with an old friend; I realized that, in today’s society riddled with immediate gratification and over indulgence, there was little room for Romance in the way we interact with each other… really its a bit disheartening… being a hopeless romantic my self; I feel much like old technology in an emerging market… guess you could say we are a dying breed.  In the midst of our conversation it became clear to me that Romance isn’t dead.  It is merely masked by our overwhelming need to have what we want at our fingertips…much like our lovable but worrisome addiction to smart phones and any other hot new gadgetry that hits the market; we have a need to be satisfied as soon as possible.

In an attempt at listening before lashing out with my personal thoughts I sat patiently as this individual spun a story of hopelessness and disparity aimed at, both, men and women.  This young lady went on and on about how we don’t take the time to enjoy the little things and about how it is in the details that we notice about each other that yield the foundations that form bonds….etc, etc… When I finally got a break, albeit just enough to catch her breath, I replied stating that romance isn’t dead; however, it sounds as though your personal understanding of romance is quite traditional and the problem with that is that we no longer live in a traditional world.  The subtlety of old fashioned romanticism, though I personally favor its illustrious charms, has given way to the age of hyper anxiety and immediate gratification… Now more than ever, women and men are getting straight to the point about their needs and intentions… The age of internet dating made sure of this… I could see the wheels turning in my friend’s head as I went on to say that it is an interesting time for a hopeless romantic because this new era in communication and human interaction has carved out a niche for those seeking old fashioned relations and traditional romanticism as anyone who has a solid grasp upon its concepts; not to mention a consistent and easily referenced method of delivery can, figuratively speaking, “clean up” with the opposite sex.  

I went on to explain to her that, in my experience, there are certain cues that will tell a man how to approach a woman.  First off, one must initially appear confident while allowing your secondary body language to speak to your personal humility… ie…(its all in the eyes).  Men give off many signals that are never really that hard for a woman to read…the trouble is that women will ignore most of those signals as they know that at the end of the day they have what all men want… Where women tend to be fooled is that they cannot completely disconnect their heart from their carnal desires… Men are a different story… a man can project what he wants and stay completely disconnected from an emotional stand point leaving a woman highly vulnerable depending upon her own personal level of investment.  

My friend looked at me as if I was speaking Greek to her but her body language said it all… she went on to corroborate my ideals by stating that she has been burned by similar scenarios… she went on to state that she still didn’t see what that had to do with Romance… I replied to her; “simply put, women care more about being wanted and desired than actually being loved.”  My friend looked at me with the cutest “ah hah” face… It was as if it just clicked in her head that I was on to something… I asked her; why is it that women worry about their men being faithful yet most of those that ruin relationships due to that excessive worry have spent time with a married man….?  This time her look turned to disgust but her silence told me that she knew I was right.  I continued to say “lets face it… a woman’s need to be desired and how that need processes her own personal connection to the idea of love is what creates romance… Any action that a man can make or statement that he can align to an action that builds upon his desire for a woman only makes that particular woman want him even more!  

Of course the words written above were just a snapshot into a conversation that I had with an old friend… my observations are personal to me… though I might speak of them from a general stand point; one must understand that I only state my ideals in a general, easy to reference manner as to further grow understanding and to prompt continued intellectual discussion.  If my ideals seem far fetched to you then, by all means, please feel free to comment as I am always open for discussion… however; you must understand that I don’t speak about anything that I cannot personally reference… just keep in mind that it is my successful experiences that yield my comments and shape my ideology… which is why I state them in the manner that I do… Romance isn’t dead ladies and gentleman… just because it isn’t so readily seen nowadays doesn’t mean that it is dead… all it takes is an understanding of what it does for that special some one in your life and a desire to give it to them! 

 

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Functionally Speaking…

Yes folks, it is that time of year again… Halloween.  The one day of the year that it is socially acceptable to embrace concepts of blood, gore and evil.  My question to you is why?  What in the world makes it okay to glorify horror?  Please don’t get me wrong and write me off as saying that it isn’t that serious and that I should just let the kids enjoy their one day to gorge on candy but we live in a world where kids gorge on any and everything that is thrown in front of them with no regard for personal preservation.  We live in a society where the toys we give our children only further glorify this new age of immediate gratification… the food we feed them is pumped full of artificial substances that are all but sure to further diminish their future health only to critically jeopardize the future of the human race.  No wonder topics like the rapture and the zombie apocalypse have become the forefront of discussion and entertainment… could it possibly be that we realize that we have done an insurmountable amount of damage to society as a whole… so much so that we almost feel the need to wipe the slate clean…?

Instant gratification, as a concept, makes sense but as a way of life; it will only continue to degrade and decline the very existence of humanity.  Studies show that the toys we give small children only lead to ADD/ADHD.   All of the pretty colors and audible tones presented with an educational undertone has done nothing but condition our children to develop shorter attention spans.  Due to the ease of information; we have retrained the future of society to spend less time, energy and effort in regards to a concentrated effort at retaining information which can only lead to a decline in cognitive brain development in early childhood education…

I don’t know about you but, as a parent, I am truly frightened at the thought of an intellectually underdeveloped and malnutrition-ed workforce tasked with the interaction and succession in a more complex and technologically savvy world.  The thought of the potential disastrous outcome from just the gap in communication, alone, is enough to drive a parent to drinking… As technology rapidly replaces old fashioned man power… physical jobs decline and give way to intellectual prowess leaving all those in the future workforce to fend for themselves ultimately resolving to mindless, dead end jobs or illegal activity which only puts more stress on society as a whole.

As the gap between blue collar and white collar widens; so do the negative implications of the socioeconomic constraints that so heavily plague society and pillage tax dollars on a daily basis.  What happens when technology completely replaces the need for old fashioned craftsmanship?  What happens when there are no more construction jobs or when the trades unions finally fall victim to cheaper labor provided by machines with virtually no insurance liability?  The unions have only been able to survive this long by their political foundations and alliances but eventually the notion of construction by machine will prove too lucrative that developers will have no choice but to cut the endless liability in regards to   health insurance and competitive pay wages.  Why would I hire a human that needs to be paid for his/her time and demands health insurance but can only work a certain amount of hours a day when I can run a machine day and night with no complaints or personal conflicts?

This is just one example of an endless amount of possible realities to potentially materialize in the not so distant future.  We live in a Cancer riddled, radiation infested, artificially enhanced world that can only be described as a glimpse of the future… After all; technology is only revealed when it has been appropriately positioned to benefit those that are in control of that technology… One can only conclude that if you don’t have the intellectual capacity to benefit the advancement of technology but no longer have the opportunity to interact in the physicality there of then you will fall through the cracks… resulting in a desperate attempt at survival which one can only further conclude as participating in illegal activity; only to further crumble the, already unraveling, fabric of intercultural interaction.

So if our future is ill equipped at sustaining concentrated cognitive ability for longer than a few seconds due to attention deficits but technology continues to grow at an exponential rate then what does that mean for our future…?

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New beginnings!

Post navigationSearch RECENT POSTSNew beginnings!RECENT COMMENTSARCHIVESOctober 2013CATEGORIESblogslifepeopleMETASite AdminLog outEntries RSSComments RSSWordPress.comBlog at WordPress.com. | The Reddle Theme.Skip to toolbarWordPress.comAndrada PredulescuFollowReblogBrianLog Out

via New beginnings!.

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