Functionally Speaking…(Is Romance dead in the 21st century)



After a conversation I had with an old friend; I realized that, in today’s society riddled with immediate gratification and over indulgence, there was little room for Romance in the way we interact with each other… really its a bit disheartening… being a hopeless romantic my self; I feel much like old technology in an emerging market… guess you could say we are a dying breed.  In the midst of our conversation it became clear to me that Romance isn’t dead.  It is merely masked by our overwhelming need to have what we want at our fingertips…much like our lovable but worrisome addiction to smart phones and any other hot new gadgetry that hits the market; we have a need to be satisfied as soon as possible.

In an attempt at listening before lashing out with my personal thoughts I sat patiently as this individual spun a story of hopelessness and disparity aimed at, both, men and women.  This young lady went on and on about how we don’t take the time to enjoy the little things and about how it is in the details that we notice about each other that yield the foundations that form bonds….etc, etc… When I finally got a break, albeit just enough to catch her breath, I replied stating that romance isn’t dead; however, it sounds as though your personal understanding of romance is quite traditional and the problem with that is that we no longer live in a traditional world.  The subtlety of old fashioned romanticism, though I personally favor its illustrious charms, has given way to the age of hyper anxiety and immediate gratification… Now more than ever, women and men are getting straight to the point about their needs and intentions… The age of internet dating made sure of this… I could see the wheels turning in my friend’s head as I went on to say that it is an interesting time for a hopeless romantic because this new era in communication and human interaction has carved out a niche for those seeking old fashioned relations and traditional romanticism as anyone who has a solid grasp upon its concepts; not to mention a consistent and easily referenced method of delivery can, figuratively speaking, “clean up” with the opposite sex.  

I went on to explain to her that, in my experience, there are certain cues that will tell a man how to approach a woman.  First off, one must initially appear confident while allowing your secondary body language to speak to your personal humility… ie…(its all in the eyes).  Men give off many signals that are never really that hard for a woman to read…the trouble is that women will ignore most of those signals as they know that at the end of the day they have what all men want… Where women tend to be fooled is that they cannot completely disconnect their heart from their carnal desires… Men are a different story… a man can project what he wants and stay completely disconnected from an emotional stand point leaving a woman highly vulnerable depending upon her own personal level of investment.  

My friend looked at me as if I was speaking Greek to her but her body language said it all… she went on to corroborate my ideals by stating that she has been burned by similar scenarios… she went on to state that she still didn’t see what that had to do with Romance… I replied to her; “simply put, women care more about being wanted and desired than actually being loved.”  My friend looked at me with the cutest “ah hah” face… It was as if it just clicked in her head that I was on to something… I asked her; why is it that women worry about their men being faithful yet most of those that ruin relationships due to that excessive worry have spent time with a married man….?  This time her look turned to disgust but her silence told me that she knew I was right.  I continued to say “lets face it… a woman’s need to be desired and how that need processes her own personal connection to the idea of love is what creates romance… Any action that a man can make or statement that he can align to an action that builds upon his desire for a woman only makes that particular woman want him even more!  

Of course the words written above were just a snapshot into a conversation that I had with an old friend… my observations are personal to me… though I might speak of them from a general stand point; one must understand that I only state my ideals in a general, easy to reference manner as to further grow understanding and to prompt continued intellectual discussion.  If my ideals seem far fetched to you then, by all means, please feel free to comment as I am always open for discussion… however; you must understand that I don’t speak about anything that I cannot personally reference… just keep in mind that it is my successful experiences that yield my comments and shape my ideology… which is why I state them in the manner that I do… Romance isn’t dead ladies and gentleman… just because it isn’t so readily seen nowadays doesn’t mean that it is dead… all it takes is an understanding of what it does for that special some one in your life and a desire to give it to them! 



About Starchild

Grew up in the country... nothing like a small town. Luckily I have been able to enjoy overseas travel as well which has given me a unique perspective on life, love, and the endless pursuit of happiness. As much as I love the country; I love the allure and the bright lights of the city as well. Trouble is... I always come full circle to realize that a simplistic approach to complexity will always yield the most well rounded approach and the most complete understanding there of. Been through a lot at a young age and as a result I find myself in and out of hot water when engaging in conversation with others of all walks of life... I seek out the slivers of comfort in any and every uncomfortable situation I can find... I find that it yields the most interesting conversation which, in turn, leads to the most interesting people... After all, everything I have ever learned I learned the hard way via the souls that I met along my journey of self discovery! I wouldn't have it any other way!
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